What about black males and marriage?

As a single, African-American woman, I shrug each time a new pessimistic report comes out highlighting the dismal state of affairs for black women desiring marriage. The latest incarnation was an ABC Nightlinesegment in December, in which a reporter ominously announced that "42% of black women have never been married. That's double the number of never-married white women."

What's wrong with single, black women, you ask? Actually, other than marriage, we're doing just fine in terms of education, career and earning power. But why doesn't anyone ever ask about the dismal state of marriage for black males? According to the 2000 Census, 41.6% of black men have never been married. But while the percentages of unmarried black males and females are similar, the reasons are not.

Eligible black bachelors, which excludes black males who are incarcerated, unemployed or high school dropouts, have more choices.

Edward Bronston is a 39-year-old Morehouse College graduate and an attorney in private practice in Memphis. When I asked the tall, slender, baritone why he wasn't married, he responded, "A woman checks off many boxes with me," meaning he is educated, financially secure and attractive. "There are probably a dozen women who would accept my proposal," he said, suggesting there's no rush to marry.

His options are even greater since black men marry outside the race more than twice as often as black women, according to 2006 Census figures.

Stan Stocker falls into this category. A Harvard Law grad who writes poetry and loves to dance, he finally found his bride, a Japanese woman, at age 45. Having consoled him through heartbreaks with certain black women, I know that he was following his heart and not an agenda to marry a woman of another race.

I also know that Stan's life is in many ways richer since marriage, particularly economically. The Pew Research Center just released a study, "New Economics of Marriage: The Rise of Wives," which, though focused on all races, also found that black married men overall have seen greater gains in household income than unmarried men.

The media spend a good bit of time trying to put single, black women in a panic, perhaps we should all look behind the numbers and encourage a little urgency on the part of our male counterparts as well.